My heart hurts so much I'm sure it is broken.
Neeny has had a heart attack, and I can't even manage a little poetry to clear my mind. I'm doing well to breathe.
All this time, and I never knew she was mortal. When she held me after Dad died, took all 5 of us to the library like she was on a mission from God, prayed for our onery little souls, let us move in (and out. and in again) as circumstances necessitated it. I didn't catch on when her eyes leaked just a little when Grandaddy died. Not when she was my matron of honor, and not when she was coddling my own children. How did I miss realizing that the one constant in my tumultuous life was not a constant at all???
1 comment:
It took a life changing event like cancer to make me realize that Grandma wasn't immortal. Before that day in 2003, when I found out she was sick, it honestly never occured to me that something could ever happen to her. I always saw her as being that person who would live forever. Grandma was my constant, and then suddenly the realization that she might not always be there hit me, and life wasn't so perfect anymore.
(I'm making you depressed aren't I? Enough of that.)
Anyways...How is she doing? I hope she's doing well. I like your grandmother. She reminds me a whole lot of my own. Maybe because they seemed to be like peas and carrots. I'm not sure exactly. Maybe it's because everytime I've listened to them, they both always seemed like they knew absolutely everything there was to know. That might be it...
Anyway, if you need or want a break from sitting in a hospital room (and I know exactly what that's like), let me know. My M-Th is filled solid with school and work, but I only have one 50-minute class on Friday, and am free on Saturday and Sunday pretty much. I'm not so flexible as I was during the summer, but I can definitely make some time.
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