Dear Kaela,

I cannot believe you are seven years old today!!! You've begged me all day to tell you the story of the day you were born. It's your favorite. Here it is, for you to read and reread as you want.

On October 5, 2002, we were scheduled to meet our daughter for the first time. You were breech, so a C-section was decided upon to keep you safe. We met our doctor at 8:00 a.m., he talked to the other 6 doctors in the room about a golf game that he had played over the weekend, I felt a slight tug, and at 8:19 a.m., we saw you for the first time.

We moved out of labor and delivery and into a room on the mother/baby unit. Upon arrival, I burst into tears. Sobbing, wracking, uncontainable cries. It's funny now, but at the time it was hard to describe.
When I tell you the story now, I tell you that I loved you at that moment so much that I thought my heart would break right open. That is so true.

It was more than that, though. It was exhilaration, and panic, and terror, and hope, and joy, and love, and such vulnerability....there isn't a single word for feelings like that. I held you in the nursery that night, and you were so soft and perfect and beautiful...and I felt so undeserving. I worried about all the bad in the world, and all the ways I was bound to blow it as your mommy. (Already you seem to have a gift at honing in on all the songs I listen to that I shouldn't, and choosing the ones with the most questionable lyrics to be your favorites! HOW do you do that?)

Seriously, though....I still feel that way sometimes. When I really think about it--being a mommy to a daughter like you--it is heady stuff. You are a beautiful, sensitive, gifted little girl, and I would give you the world if I could. No, I wouldn't. It wouldn't be good for you. But I would certainly consider wrapping you in bubble wrap... It hasn't been that long ago that I considered climbing up the jungle gym at the YMCA to pluck you from the very top where you could have been in danger. And that is life as a mom.

I've wanted you for as long as I can remember, Daughter. There is just something wonderfully complex about little girls. You were born knowing what you want, I think, and so many times it differs from what your daddy and I feel is best for you. I hope that as you get older, you will see that my firmness comes from love for you. I hope that you never doubt how very much we love you.

Most of all, I hope you never doubt how much Jesus loves you. I fail. Every day. You see it. But Jesus never fails. If my shortcomings point you to Him (and God has this incredible way of using our failures for His glory!), then it's all OK. :-)

I love you, Kaela-bug. You are an incredible daughter, and we are so proud of the person you're growing into. Happy birthday, Bug.
Love,
Mom