Many times when I reread my writing, I notice grammar mistakes. Dangling prepositions and split infinitives seem to be my personal nemeses. It's not because I don't know the rules...I do. It's just that I generally blog from my home computer quickly, between whatever else is going on, then proofread from my phone later when I have time. And to edit from my phone is pretty similar to passing a bill through Congress to...um....do ANYTHING. Maddening. And so the mistakes stay.
I found this on another blog and just had to share. It made me laugh. Here's to all my grammatically correct friends who endure reading here anyway. I understand your pain. Enjoy! :-)
Guide To Essay Writing
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid clichés like the plague.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary
7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
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