I would never make fun of a child's gift, or be ungrateful for anything any kid gave me. I don't expect gifts, either, and am all too aware of the homes many of my kids come from. I'm just a little perplexed by this. See what you think.
Every year, because of scheduling issues, I teach a social skills group comprised of kids who are autistic and kids who have behavior disorders. If you've worked with special needs kids for half a minute, you can see the problem with that. Both have social needs, but together, they're combustible. My behavior kids pick on my autistic kids who cry or act out...and so on. We spend a LOT of time building community, enforcing expectations, and learning to think of each other as family--learning that we can never, ever hurt with our words or our actions.
Still, though, sometimes the occasional issue arises. Like the week before Christmas break. For some reason (tongue in cheek), that particular week seems to throw kids off a little.
So Thursday, I found myself in the hall with two of my social skills fellas after they had narrowly avoided a classroom brawl. Their regular teacher came and got me, and the boys were like 2 cats who had been thrown in the bathtub. Sputtering, red-faced, and LOUD. I was listening to them one at a time--each thought the other had been disrespectful, neither could hear me because they were so mad, they still planned to fight on the bus.... So I resorted to humor.
I pointed to one of them and said, "You need to back off. You do not treat my friend like this ever. It is never, ever OK to say to someone the things I hear you saying. Do you understand?"
He did.
Then I said to the other, "And if you don't stop acting ridiculous, I am going to put coal in the little gift bag with your name on it, and tomorrow you're gonna wonder what happened, and I'll be like, 'Remember, you were a grouchy thing this year and picked on others and hollered out in the hall about it and hurt your teacher's feelings, and now look what you've reaped!'"
He laughed, and held out his hand to the other kid to shake. They both sincerely apologized, shook hands, and the other kid went back into the classroom.
The one that was still with me said, "Mrs. P, if you give me coal, I am not going to decorate the socks I got for you into those cute little toe socks, or sew the little pom poms on tonight, and you will just have plain old socks that aren't very pretty."
I replied, "That's a chance I'm going to have to take, if it means that my boys learn how to treat others with respect and consideration. It's a good thing you turned it around. I'm going to have to think about your gift."
Well, Friday I gave out gifts, and no one got coal. And this fellow who had threatened to bring me plain white socks brought me the most beautifully decorated box, and he was all dressed up and didn't seem to be carrying a grudge, and he stood in the hall and said, "Open it, Mrs. P! Merry Christmas! I wrapped it myself!!"
And I smiled and opened it in front of him and gave him the biggest hug and thanked him for always knowing exactly what I like, and started trying to draft the thank you card in my mind...
because here it was:
Do you think he seriously meant to sew pom poms on the toes? I don't get it! I like them just as they are, and they are toasty warm. :-) Merry Christmas, kiddo. You make me smile.
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