And if elected, I will....

:-)

Election Day. Finally. Goodness. I don't know if I can handle one more of those awful commercials--and I hardly even watch TV at all!

I don't like to blog about political issues. I'm not liberal enough for half my friends, and not conservative enough for the other half, so usually I just keep my mouth closed. :-) But seeing as how I'm nearing the age of being able to run for President, I decided to work on some campaign material. You know, just in case.
(If Pete ever DOES run for President, remind me to take this down. I'm sure he won't find me amusing then any more than he does now... )

Promise #1: If I were elected President, I would implement quarterly "Stop taking yourself so seriously!" days. One day a quarter where you're not allowed to go to work. Not allowed to get on your crackberries. Not allowed to tap your toes impatiently at indecisive people in line in front of you at Starbucks, or holler at customer service reps, or hang up on telemarketers. Not allowed to allow yourself to get bent out of shape over the small things, period. And it's ALL small stuff.
My principal does "Random Dance Minutes" occasionally throughout the year. Stop everything and dance. I used to get sooo frustrated--it is nearly always when I'm trying to teach simplifying fractions, which isn't simple at all for 10 year olds! But then, I decided to save my frustration and learn a couple of moves. It was mandatory anyway--may as well make the best of it. Now, I get up on the chair and shake my booty with the best of them. It makes for a better day. :-)

Promise #2: If I were President, I would mandate monthly days to volunteer. One day a month...that's all. Go to a nursing home. Go to a children's hospital. Go read stories in a preschool class. Go deliver a Meals on Wheels route. People have it worse than you. People right next door from you need something from you. Pay attention. Get perspective. You'll go about your daily routines with more joy when you learn about and invest in others.

Promise #3: Wow, that's a lot of mandates from me. I'm not a big "government mandate" fan. So this next one is just an inspirational reminder: If elected President, I would encourage everyone to treat other people the way you would like to be treated. You feel like giving me a dirty finger sign when I'm driving in the wrong lane? Please refrain. As soon as I get that text sent, I'll return to my own lane, I promise. (Kidding!) Do you feel like suggesting that I control my children while in public? I agree, but sometimes they're awful, and I can't leave them home alone... Please just chastise me in your head. Don't even get me started on bullying, regardless of how justified people think they are. Stop. The. Madness.

I only have one class rule these days: "Be the kind of kid who...." I used to try to define everything I wanted the kids to do. Come prepared. Give your best effort. Don't save seats. Include people. Now, I just have to say, "Be the kind of kid who DOT DOT DOT" and they know what I mean. They open doors for others. They encourage each other. They answer my phone politely. They don't talk in the halls. It's like a magic rule for 10-year olds! That would be my "encouraging stance" from my new Presidential platform. Be the kind of person who....
What? Does it sound like your grandmother's advice? ;-)

Promise #4: If elected, I would lengthen the school day, but offer more regular breaks. Emphasize math, from the earliest grades, and offer opportunities to BUILD things. Teach employability skills, and plain ol' people skills. Get the steroids and hormones out of our food supply. Figure out what in the world is causing autism (how hard can this be?). Make some kind of synthetic cartilage that comes in pill form so that little old ladies (and me, now--stupid elbow) won't need our joints replaced one day. Cure cancer. Explore clean energy (perhaps powered by the phlegm that grows in abundance here in the sinuses of us Ohio Valley residents?). Keep a sense of humor. Get rid of that garish pink lipstick color that complements NO ONE, but that I keep seeing anyway....

Yeah, that last one was inspired by my just-completed trip to the polls....

Anyway, wishful thinking. It's fun to pretend, though. Seriously, I'm grateful for the opportunity to vote. Our system isn't perfect, but it's OURS, and I'm thankful to be able to participate.
Happy Election Day, all.
And if I ever DO get up the courage to run, I'll let you know. :-)