Keeping It Real

Today I paid my daughter for 20 minutes of silence.

I know. I know. I'm a bad mom. But not as bad as I would have been without the few minutes to clear my head...

We were driving in the car, and the chatter was cranked up on high in the back seat, with an occasional sprinkling of petty arguing over toys and the compulsory "Am not. Are too." addition just to see if Mom really. will. go over the edge. I couldn't think of anything else that may work short of throwing the offending toy out the window (which really works, but should only be used in the most extreme circumstances), so I resorted to bribery. Then, every time she'd make noises, I'd be like, "Uh-oh, there goes $0.50."

Kaela quickly grew weary of me messing with her, and picked up this magnetic doodle board that she plays with in the car. She wrote, "Has it been 20 minutes?"

I wrote, "Your 'talking' is costing you money."

She wrote, "I'm board."

I wrote, "Cha-ching."

She wrote, "Hoo cares?"

I wrote, "I heart quiet Ben."

She started laughing, then wrote this:

Wow. That was harsh. True, but harsh. Poor guy never even saw it coming before she threw him under the bus.

Ben, for the record, maintains that he doesn't do that anymore. Never. Because he stopped. Unless he has a Kleenex. He wants you to know that.