On Being a Girl

Last night, while celebrating Christmas with some of my nearest and dearest, Kaela called my cell.

"Mommy? I hurt all over and I can't stop throwing up. Will you bring popsicles?"

Sigh.

This is after Ben's 5-day bout with the stomach bug. This entire break, with the exception of about 6 hours total here and there--including Christmas Day--has been spent at home cleaning up after this bug. No physical therapy, no visiting my one remaining grandmother, no hanging out til all hours with my brothers singing karaoke at Mom's, no organizing the closets....quick family visits, punctuated with regular vomiting then prolonged lying on the couch after scrubbing the floorboard of the van. Again.

I wish I were more of a homebody. I'm not. I'm lonely and bored out of my gourd. My babies have been pitiful, and there's nothing I can do besides water them. I hate not being able to help. Besides, it seems that the adults' infection is inevitable.... Sour, sour mood.

THEN....

Today, I decided to quit moping. I read for an hour. I Lysol-ed the bathrooms. I smoothed Kaela's hair and delivered the popsicles. I fixed coffee and put real cream in it. I organized the new toys, and got some of the old ones ready to donate. I turned on some old school Collin Raye, and burned my favorite candle that smells like Mom's house all day long. I read the blog of a family who lost their baby daughter to SIDS on Christmas day, and had a good cry. I spent some time praying for Noah, and the surgery that awaits him Thursday morning. I looked at the profiles of children locally who are waiting to be adopted. Again.
I began to count my blessings.

It's beginning to feel indulgent. Like one of those days I should appreciate rather than rueing. Like I should soak it up--this time with my sickly little ones and half a book left to devour and the smell of the cinnamon roll candle....

It feels like a really, really good day, suddenly.

And that, friends, is what it's like being a girl.