School starts tomorrow. I'm both excited and sad. Excited because the kids are coming! A whole new crew in their new clothes and with their spiffy haircuts--and my daughter's one of them this year!! Excited about our new staff, new principal, and new opportunities in my job to do more leadership roles. Excited because of the direction our school is heading, and the people who will be there with me! Excited because I love teaching, and only rarely does it even feel like work for me.
Sad because I love being home with my children. It's always an adjustment in August from being home with them around the clock to not seeing them until the afternoon. I have the perfect job for a mommy, really. I have no reason for complaint! Summers off, many holidays, decent hours... I'm contracted to work fewer than half the days of the year. Yet, balance is an elusive thing. It's why I don't imagine I'll be blogging much in the coming weeks (but I'll definitely post pictures of Kaela tomorrow for her big day!!!) The love I have for teaching pales in comparison for the love I have for my own children.
Anyway, Eric will tell you that I've been driving him nuts lately. I'm all about "family time," as though we're putting our children up for adoption tomorrow. "We're not going to watch TV tonight, are we? What about family time?" "Let's eat dinner out on the deck right after our walk, so that we don't miss any family time." I get on these kicks, and I'm pretty much a neurotic basket case, I'll tell you. He's too nice to tell me to get a grip most of the time, so I go around all ridiculous and unaware that I'm the only one feeling the urge to engage in a marathon bonding session with my family.
Tonight, though, we were taking a walk and I was walking fast so that we could go get batteries for the camera for tomorrow morning (together). I was holding Ben's hand while I was walking fast, which meant that he was basically at a full sprint beside me, and he finally jerked away and said, "Mommy, I'm going to go over there and fall in love wif Daddy now, not you." Eric and I both laughed out loud--me, because it took my 2-year old to make me realize that you can't force a quick "family time" and expect to enjoy it, and Eric because Ben had clued me into my frenetic desire for bonding and Eric didn't have to do it for me. :)
So I'm going to try to chill out now. :) Eric's bathing the kids and telling them stories about when he was in kindergarten. I've just finished loading the camera, setting out clothes, and packing lunches. We're still going to pray for balance and work together as a family to make our evenings and weekends purposeful and meaningful. We're not going to pretend to have it all together, and I'm sure there will be days that we'll wish we had never begun this wild ride! We'll tackle those days with prayer, though, and hopefully a lot of laughter too. Most importantly, we'll get through those times together. Hopefully.
If not, though, I'll ask Ben to help keep me straight when I'm acting like a spaz. :)
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