Jon Minus Kate Equals Heartbreak

OK, so I am too young to know much about Farrah Fawcett. Well, I guess I'm old enough, but I was too sheltered when I was younger. Charlie's Angels wasn't on the "approved viewing" list, so I'm not exactly grieving her loss. (Not trying to be insensitive, but there are lots of other really sad things going on these days, you know?

I wasn't allowed to listen to Michael Jackson, either, and I only this week have seen the whole Thriller video. Which I love, by the way, and am now thinking I definitely would have been a fan, and by the way, do you think those sparkly gloves will make a comeback?! (Contrast this with my younger brother, who could watch anything he wanted by the time he came along, and was earlier today dancing in Times Square to The Way You Make Me Feel. And it's all on YouTube so Mom will know for sure that he's been exposed to the Dark Side. Love you, Mom!!)

You know what, though? I'm sad about Jon and Kate. Really sad. It reminds me of when Amy Grant and Gary Chapman got a divorce. I watched an interview with Amy Grant, and she said something to the effect of, "I know this is hard, but I also know that God wants me to be happy." That rubbed. Lord only knows that what makes me "happy" on Tuesday is rarely the same thing that makes me "happy" on Saturday, much less 50 years from now. I was about 20, I think, and committed then and there never to get married. It scared me. Still scares me. Not that I would choose wrong, or whatever, but because I know how terribly, irrecovably flawed I am. I can totally understand why people choose not to marry, and this latest split has affected me the same way.
Isn't that stupid? What do I care when celebrities divorce?

Except I do. Marriage is hard, and better people than I fail at it every day. After Eric proposed to me, I wasn't sure I could go through with getting married. (If you were at my wedding, you can attest! hee hee!) I could hyperventilate just thinking about it, and no one in my family had ever divorced. The fear was paralyzing, all the same. I was talking to one of the girls I worked with about it, and she said this, which has stuck with me all these years: "You are not responsible for all the marriages in the world. You can't control whether half of marriages end in divorce or not, and you can't worry about it. Eric loves you. And you are only responsible for your half of your marriage. That's all. You can handle that."

Yeah, that plus daily (hourly--no kidding--hourly!!) intervening from the Holy Spirit, and a healthy dose of humility that I am still learning the hard way every single day because I screw up so, SO often. Plus lots of mutual forgiveness, the occasional well-timed joke, and sometimes even sheer force of will. Eric is so incredibly patient with my shortcomings, and when that wears thin, he is gifted in the art of pointed, poignant humor. He is the husband I don't deserve. More than that, though, I am incredibly dependent for the success of my marriage on the Lord, my family and on my Christian friends. It is absolutely not only up to me to manage my half. It takes WAY more than just me!! If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes 3 to keep a marriage together! I have never been convinced that love alone can do it.

I just wonder if I had 15 minutes to spend with Jon and Kate, what I would say. If it would even matter. Marriage is hard. But it was designed by God for His glory. It is such a gift. A complicated, messy, beautiful gift with a sanctifying by-product. I wish they all had happy endings.

Read Rose's post here for a much better thought-out post than this one.