We Miss Neeny

I sent Kaela into Neeny's room earlier to do a short time-out. When I called her to come out, she was sobbing. "I just MISS her," she cried. "That's the pink pillow I always slept on when I slept in her room."

Man. I'm not ever prepared for the things that trigger my own tears--they always seem to catch me when I least expect it. But as Kaela cried, I held her and my own tears fell and fell.

Then I told her, "You know, I remember when my own Daddy died, and one time I was at Neeny's house looking for a tee shirt in the laundry room when a memory hit me and I sat on the floor and cried. Neeny missed me after a few minutes, and came down to find me sobbing on the laundry room floor. So she sat down next to me, and let me cry for probably 30 minutes. She just rubbed my hair and held me. It struck me how unlike her it was to just sit without speaking. That's what I think of when I'm sitting here with you. I guess it's my turn to console little ones."
Kaela smiled.

I'm really looking forward to heaven. Not like I'm ready to die or anything, but because part of me will just always be homesick for a place I can't go yet. There's a MercyMe song that has this line in it that I love: "I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is, then I'm out of place....I've never been more homesick than now." That line just says it.

In the meantime, though, Kaela and I are going to make a "Neeny" doll. Kaela wants to read her stories and make little triangular peanut butter sandwiches for her. We already know that she will wear--a turquoise dress, clip-on earrings, and SAS shoes. I wonder if I can find a pattern for SAS doll shoes? She needs a slip, too, because you should never wear a dress without one. :) I've never made a doll before. That's no reason to keep me from it now. I learned that from my grandmother. :) I'll post pictures when I get this gal made. I'd better hurry. Kaela wants to take her to school to nap with on Monday.